The Lizard I Want to Be

I didn’t grew up in church. I didn’t grow up with a mentor or any constant person to go to with my questions, or solid structure to teach me things. So, I comically consider myself spiritually/biblically home schooled. Most of what I know, I attained from an informal setting. Yes, I listen to podcasts regularly and study in the Word, but I was never sat down and told “alright, this is the way that you do this” or given any sort of formula/ guidelines to how Christianity works. Most of what I know, comes from a very personal experience/revelation in the Lord, and also a whole lot of grace, trial, and error.

 

Anyways, like home schooled kids, because I didn’t learn things in your traditional structured setting, I often find myself learning things the abnormal/hands on way, as homeschoolers often do; in ways that public school kids often find weird. You see, God can speak to us in and through anything. We just need to have the ears to hear it and constantly have our hearts turned towards Him.

At the guest house, over the last few weeks, He taught me something through a series of lizards. You see, here at the guesthouse, we have a little bit of a fly problem. I don’t know where they came from, or where they are going, but it doesn’t really seem like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.

We have fly traps sitting all around the guest house. They are pieces of thick stock paper coated with an inescapable glue. Sometimes, in my aimless wandering, I look at them.

 

A few weeks ago, while I was walking around, I saw a baby lizard stuck to the fly trap. Now this is either the smartest, or the not so smartest lizard I have ever met, because he saw all the flies and decided to move in for the gold.

Unsurprisingly, his whole body had gotten stuck on there. I don’t know if he crawled on there and just kept fighting through it, or if he climbed onto the ceiling and body dropped in, (one did that to my head while I was sleeping a few weeks back). Either way, He had gotten stuck, and the glue held him so tightly that he could not move or fight his way forward. Out of compassion, I gently peeled the lizard off the paper and lightly tried to rub some of the glue still holding his body and limbs in the same place off. It wasn’t working. I took him over to the sink and began to barely touch him with the water to see if that would weaken the bond of the glue.

It didn’t.

So… I was back to trying to wipe the glue off with my shirt.

A few moments later, I noticed that I had, in a few places, torn his skin. The glue had a stronger bond to his body than his body had to his own skin so it started to tear his skin off! Naturally, I cried.

 

Anyways.

 

Fast forward a week or so- another day, another wander, and came across yet another lizard. I had seen a few since then; however, this one stuck out for a very specific reason. He, too, had gotten stuck on the fly trap, but something about this one put me in such a curious state, I had to study him further. He had fought so hard to get off of the fly trap, that he severed his tail from his body. I could see blood and everything.

 

I’ve been learning a lot about fighting lately. I’m writing my vows to God, and sitting with Him thinking about what our relationship and what I promise, and also for his people what I stand for. I’ve also been studying Nehemiah, and learning a lot about fighting other ways as well.

 

Today, a week or so after seeing the lizards, the revelation hit me out of nowhere.

Which lizard would I choose to be?

You see, death is inescapable. We have been promised eternal life, yes, but physical death is something that is also in front of us.

Which lizard do you want to be?

 

The first one gave up when it got too painful or seemed too impossible. He may have considered his options in his own logic and settled. He may have considered his state and allowed pity to slip in, draining all of his strength. He never really knew if he could make it off the fly trap or not, because he didn’t give it everything that he had. He gave up. He settled.

 

The second one- well he is a hero. He is one who keeps his eyes on his purpose, and isn’t afraid to die fighting for life. He is one that will continue to pursue what is right or just despite any pain or loss. I would guess he would be the one who would battle past their preset limits, or own understanding, and allow faith to take over. 

I would also guess that he is Caleb or Joshua, one of the only two who wanted to step into the Promised land; while the first lizard is the others, who were too afraid. 

 

Jesus stood in the presence of people who were ready to stone him to death, and still stood to make his purpose known- to reveal the Father. He was unafraid of death, and also wasn’t afraid to put his life at risk to live his life for his purpose.

He was willing to give any cost, even if it cost him himself.

 

I know which lizard I would rather be. The one that fights. The one that triumphs. The one that gives everything it has in order to attain what it is after. The one that takes the Word of the Lord and truly trusts and abides.

 

 

 

—Mini Blog Extension—

 

I also find all of this funny and beautifully timed, because yesterday, God gave me lyrics to a song He wanted to write with me about triumph.

 

The words went- “Ready or not, the battle has already been won”.

 

I picture this song for all the battles we have yet to have. All the fear we are meant to overcome. All the sickness we are meant to “battle.” He has won it. It is finished, if we choose to let it die.

 

Even in the midst of the battle which has already been won, I choose to allow my soul to live out of the promise, yet to fight endlessly for others to step into victory as well. Just as when Joshua made it into the promised land, He did not divide his own portion out right away, and even when God gave him his portion, he was still commissioned to continue and show others to their portions- to be with them as they stepped into their own promised land.

 

That is what I am called to do. Welcome others home, into their promised land. To call them to step into victory. And to do that, sometimes, I’ll also have to step into the battle. (Unless you’re Jesus, then stepping into the battle is always what is implied.) And I am going to do that by relentlessly winning; relentlessly choosing to live out of the victory that is in Christ and giving my life so that others may understand the same. I choose to relentlessly fight so that the knowledge of God may spread through the land. I may be fighting battles, but the battle is already won.