When Your Worst Fear Comes True…

Okay, so- I’m in Cambodia.
Working at a guest house (hostel/hotel) owned by an NGO who’s goal is to provide a resting place for weary travelers, train and equip the locals, and eventually be able to give back and make a way for those who don’t have a way.

We see people of all different walks of life. From world racers who are volunteering and ministering out of their backpacks for a year, to European business couples on vacation, to Malaysian families.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that my worst fear would come true. 
And oh, boy it did.

If you read my last blog, it was about the Lord teaching me how to welcome all that He has welcomed in. It was about a man who had some how found a foreign girl and paid for her to travel with him for physical benefits. You would know that I was not immediately happy to see them. I was shocked, in fact. But the Lord showed me that still He is good, and that I should love them with the most open heart He’s given me. 

Fast forward to the next night. 
Different guest. Different situation. The guest was already welcomed in but brought a long a new guest. A local woman he had paid for the night. Fear number two- check.
I know the Lord was and has worked in my heart the last 48 hours because when I learned this, I was not mad. I was not angry or bitter. I wanted to throw no punches, but instead, I felt empathy for that man, as my friend.

I hear God say that He loves these men. And talking to them for just a little while, I can see why. 

But that brings me back to my original dilemma. 
The last thing that I ever wanted tolerated at the guest house was anything to do with sexual tourism. 
And now we’re here. And it’s happening in the room right next to me. And it’s got me thinking…
What if our biggest fears are our biggest callings in disguise?
I now believe I was called here FOR these wonderful men and women.
Not to kick them out or deny them, but to love them as brothers and sisters. 

Haha it’s funny. As I type this, I hear the Lord say “It’s not in disguise.” in reference to the sentence above about our biggest callings.
In other words, it’s as if He is saying in a smart, funny way- “Where there is fear, I want you to step into that place and conquer it with love, for love, my love. ” Fear is when we know that it’s time to move in. 

So, dear friends-
take some time to look at your fears of your heart. God is working them together for the good, and He may be inviting you on a journey of boldness you never even saw coming.

I love you my sweet chickens.
Stay strong,
Tara